Wednesday, September 12th, 2007
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11:22 pm - You're going to kill me because I got a new livejournal.
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2:40 am - This is me being on top of things.
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I've been in school since 12:30, got out at 9:00.
and I just finished doing my homework now.
sslleeeepppp.
current mood:  okay
current music: On the phone with Dmitry
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Tuesday, September 11th, 2007
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9:25 pm - I'm almost over this little financial slump btw
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+ It’s official! I’ve decided that I’m going to see Chloe and Ivy on October 11th!
- My dad is getting married (To Adelabitchface)
I’m kind of bummed out about it because I think she is a fucking cunt, but It was bound to happen one day or another and there are worse things out there, I guess.
Besides, I’m trying to become an adult now which means I’ve got to focus on more important things like feeling better, exercising, and school.
It hit me in these last few days of hibernation that there’s absolutely no point in going through college half-assed. I can’t just brush off my exceedingly unorganized bunch of papers like I did in high school pretending to get it done before class. High school was such a waste of my fucking time. I just want to feel better about college than I did in the last four years of my life, and not end the semester with a C- wondering why the fuck I just didn’t take the extra effort.
That’s why I’m sitting her re-writing my notes and working on homework that isn’t due for two days.
I have to make a conscience effort to stay on top of my shit. Even little crap like cleaning my room and writing important dates down. It just makes me feel better.
Yeah, getting on that right now.
Peace the fuck out.
current mood:  bored
current music: THE WHITE STRIPES icky thump
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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10:30 am - How are things on the west coast?
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Today I have class from 12:30 - 4:45 and 6:30 - 9:00
I’m not sure why I choose to be in school all day today but I guess that’s why I’ve been sitting on my ass for the last five days.
I’m so homesick.
current mood:  lonely
current music: INTERPOL the heinrich maneuver
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(comment on this)
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Wednesday, August 29th, 2007
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3:49 pm
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I don't care what anyone says I really like hot topic and I want to go now.
Dmitry should take me.
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(8 comments | comment on this)
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12:40 pm - Yeah my hand is fucked up but you should see the wall.
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Gary and I kind of broke up last night, but before we could address what really happened he told me that he’s going out to lunch with two of his ex-girlfriends today.
So I fucking left. He was entirely too quick jump on those girls so I drove to the cook (Matty) and the kid from cycle science’s (Joe) apartment and we chilled out and drank Patron. I really love those guys because they’ve been through so much and I speak freely about whatever I want with out feeling like I’m being judged.
Of course, I didn’t answer my phone when Gary called and let’s just say that I ended up at his house drunk at one in the morning asking for my shit back, which he never gave to me.
I’ve done a lot of bad shit in my life. I’ve lied and done horrible malicious things with a smile on my face to hurt other people and I don’t ever want to see that side of myself again.
I don’t cheat.
I may have lied about going to Mat’s house because I needed to fucking talk to someone and there was no way I was going to get that through to Gary.
But I don’t fucking cheat. I know what that shit feels like and it’s hard enough to be comfortable having sex with Gary so what the fuck is the point of me wanting to fuck anyone else?
Anyways, he made a great point of it to tell me what a “whore” I am and how I’m the “bonzo’s slut”.
He kept repeating himself while refusing the answers I was giving him and my knee jerk reaction at the time was to punch the fucking wall..
I fucking dislocated my pointer finger and tore a couple muscles in my hand.
I left his house and didn’t let him know what I did. I popped my finger back into place in my car and I was going to drive to the E.R. but I thought I’d stop by Foster’s first to show Riandi since I don’t have the money to go to the E.R. and I was driving drunk.
It’s so like me to stop by a fucking bar rather than go get help first.
It’s not broken, although I may have a fracture in my finger but I already called up my clinic and I’m swinging by later to have them look at it.
What a shitty night. I’m glad we’re done I just feel bad it ended so rough.
current mood:  aggravated
current music: CARTEL say anything
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(7 comments | comment on this)
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Wednesday, August 22nd, 2007
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3:43 pm - neeeeer
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I’ve got so much on my mind.
College starts tomarrow, I’m opening up my own business, I’m starting to make money, I want to move out.
In order for this all to work accordingly, I’m going to have to rid myself of any anxiety and stress that might make life difficult. It sucks because I know exactly what I need to do but it’s always easier said than done.
I really just need to be alone for a little while in order to fully grasp the concept of “prioritizing”.
I’m not an expert multitasker.
I’m really nervous, I wish I had some Zanax.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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2:01 pm - You're larely unaware of how to work my mojo.
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Tomarrow - first day of college
Friday - Orlando with Travis (to see Jen J.)
October - Season Starts @ Bonzos
October - Road trip to VA (chloe/ivy)
June 08 - Europe (preferably Germany or Italy)
August 08 - Move to Orlando
Hopefully Gary will make my business cards soon so I can make some money to do these things.
current mood:  chipper
current music: The crickets outside
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(comment on this)
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Tuesday, August 21st, 2007
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7:23 pm - I'm eating ice cream now and everything is ok.
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I'd like to take this time to thank Sarah for possessing the spontaneous attitude that it takes to go out and get our eyebrows pierced on a Tuesday afternoon for no particular reason.
She had her right side done and It's about time I obtained some sort of facial piercing.
Blake from Ink Addiction, you are indeed the shit.
current music: BEASTIE BOYS intergalactic
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(8 comments | comment on this)
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Sunday, August 19th, 2007
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2:02 am - oh gee oh boy
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I swear I could write an entire book on e-dating.
and how it never accurately represented how unstable I am.
and how I wish I didn't have six hundred different emotions at one moment.
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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Friday, August 17th, 2007
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3:08 pm - There are a lot of people in Versailles today.
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I haven’t put a dime into the bank since I’ve start working at Bonzos, but It’s ok, because I’ve only been there for a month and a half which means that money situations are salvageable.
I called my mom and ordered her to implement some sort of budget for me, hopefully I can form better habits after this.
For instance:
By now, these could have been in my possession:
The REBEL XT
A Microdermabrasion
Glasses
A trip to see Chloe and Ivy
And had money left over to put in the bank.
Foolishness aside, I called my insurance company, my dermatologist and I’m going for a Microdermabrasion Consultation on Tuesday. I’m fucking ecstatic! I’m finally going to have reasonable skin! AHOY!
My wonderful mom is paying for my glasses this week.
And I’m going to try to come up to see Chloe and Ivy during October hopefully when it gets a little cooler. (maybe with Dmitri)
I’ve just got to cut out the frivolous crap.
current mood: blah
current music: SHINY TOY GUNS you are the one
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(5 comments | comment on this)
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Wednesday, August 15th, 2007
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3:48 pm - Welcome to the Rock Star diet.
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The way I act and re-act to the perpetual bullshit in my relationships is evident that I’ve evolved immensely since I started dating. I mean, the absolute worst possible side of me is that submissive, subservient bitch who sacrifices entirely too much to make other people happy-- Or marginally satisfied.
And the real kick in the teeth is that half the time it’s not even really worth the effort, to me. Which is why I just stop caring.
Watch the fucking dust settle, mother fuckers.
current mood:  weird
current music: PEACHES fuck the pain away
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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1:17 am - Oh btw.
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Friday, August 10th, 2007
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7:34 pm - Gary made this for me
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Tuesday, August 7th, 2007
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10:33 pm - haircut
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Monday, August 6th, 2007
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2:11 pm - MEOW MEOW MEOW
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I have an enormous collection of clothes sitting in my closet that I haven't touched since 2004.
I'm not kidding. It's a bunch of crap that I don't wear anymore and I keep it around solely for sentimental value. LOTS AND LOTS of black. I think that black was always a very comfortable and safe color for me to wear, that's why I have so fucking much of it. I'm just going to shove everything in a bag and bring it to goodwill today and I'm not going to keep anything I haven't worn in the last four months.
I'm getting my hair cut today.
Maybe after that I'll haunt Bonzo's and force Jimmy to make me a pizza.
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(comment on this)
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Friday, August 3rd, 2007
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4:00 pm - Just let it happen
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This morning Gary squished a silver fish on the bathroom floor.
He didn't pick it up and I slipped on it and busted my knee.
We've been laughing about it all morning.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Tuesday, July 31st, 2007
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8:14 pm - I hate your kids.
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Babies are ugly, under-developed, pasty looking, barf bags that shit in their fucking underpants.
The only children I’ll ever sincerely produce an “AWWWW” or “OHHHH!” noise for are my own, and when they’re slightly more developed and less feeble I’m going to beat the living fuck out of them.
Babies are just untainted corpses just waiting to be fashioned into some fuck head robot that goes around and fucks your wife and gives her herpes.
I somehow managed to muscle up the nerve to tell my boss (who I don‘t get along with) that I “wanted to see his baby”. I feigned the interest to make him feel like I care or something and all it got me was stuck in Publix for ten minutes with a large group of women pinching and poking the baby with their disease infested hands.
So. Fucking. Dumb.
I was always under the general consensus that no one wants to see your kids/pictures of your kids.
ANYWAYS. I went shopping for the Apt today.
Made me feel like a house wife.
;D
* THE ONLY CHILDREN EXEMPT FROM THIS ENTRY ARE DANI, NOAM, AND TAL.
current mood:  bitchy
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(6 comments | comment on this)
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Monday, July 30th, 2007
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11:40 pm - Maybe now you'll know why I've been gone.
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It’s been a ridiculously exhausting week. I haven’t even had time for a proper update.
Let me just start off by saying that John Bonzo (of Bonzo’s) is quite possibly the frightening man I’ve ever met in my life. He was violently chopping ice off of the pizza counter whilst was making this distorted face with his terrifying teeth and I kept feeling like it was the last thing I was ever going to see before I die.
I get screamed and cursed at pretty much every hour, on the hour. My integrity, self esteem and mental capabilities are doubted and insulted every minute of the day and I keep returning to the numbers on my paycheck to conjure up that last strand of hope for the end of the night.
I feel like a mental case because I’ve come home crying to Gary the last three nights in a row.
In addition to my destructive work schedule, I spent four and a half hours listening to father time preach on about important things like Kentucky Fried Chicken and Jacksonville at my PBCC orientation today.
THE ONLY useful information I obtained was that I got AFTER the fucking orientation.
All day I’ve really just wanted to commit Hara Kiri with the nearest available sharp object, whether it be a pen, pizza cutter, you name it.
Unfortunately, I realized how rude it would be to eviscerate myself in front of all the other students/customers.
Whatever.
I’m going to wash the evil, unmistakable scent of pizza of my skin and hang out with Jack and Gary for the rest of the night.
Jack Daniels, that is.
Thanks Bonzo’s for contributing to my debilitating alcoholism!
Shark week is the only thing that is keeping me sane, ATM.
current mood:  tired
current music: FAMILY GUY
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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2:12 pm - Was. Not. There.
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Providing, deciding, it was soon there
Squared to it, faced to it, it was not there
It was not there
It was not there
Going to try to squeeze a nap in before Bonzo's.
Busy, Busy, Busy.
current mood:  indescribable
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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